American Democracy Just Lost the World

Much has been made over the last two years of how firmly and repeatedly Donald Trump’s presidency has kicked American democracy in its nether regions. Instead of a government, the U.S. now has a kleptocracy governed by a man-child with a demonstrated inability to keep his member in his pants or hide the fact that he can’t keep his member in his pants.

Meanwhile, Trump and company are doing their level best to dismantle the system of checks and balances on which the U.S. government is built, while dismantling the global order two hundred years of American foreign policy has built up.

All this is happening while an opioid epidemic ravages the nation, social programs are being ripped to shreds and partisan machinations look ready to seize the gears of government.

Contrast this with what is happening in China:

Perhaps the most compelling evidence for the functionality of the Chinese  model is its capacity for sustained and effective planning. While the U.S. lurches from one partisan regime to another – systematically reversing the policies of the previous one – China appears to be a model of functionality and stability.

China’s success no longer casts shade on the value of western democracy: it’s proving to be the saner system.

The one area the U.S. could traditionally lord over China in terms of civilization and development was human rights. That’s getting harder to swallow as the U.S. continues to turn a blind eye to systemic and entrenched racism and resugent white supremacy. To claim any moral high ground in this arena, U.S. human rights would have to be moving forward, not in reverse.

Trump has effectively made a mockery of western democracy and highlighted its Achilles heel: the potential for populism and self-interest (aided and abetted by easily co-opted media) to put an individual manifestly unsuited to running a steak distributor – let alone the most powerful nation on earth – in charge.

With that degree of failure, the conversation becomes simple: who’s making greater advances for its people (economically or otherwise) and propelling their nation toward greater international stability, standing and influence?

At this point, the answer would have to be China.

Kathleen Wynne Combusts in Delight at News of Doug Ford Leadership Bid

Firefighters rushed to the home of Ontario Liberal leader Kathleen Wynne today to extinguish a two-alarm blaze, when Premier Wynne literally burst into flames of delight at the news of Doug Ford’s Conservative Party leadership bid.

Doug Ford, brother of the late, great, crack-smoking mayoral train wreck known as Rob Ford, announced his bid for the leadership of the Ontario Tories to “to prevent the party from falling into the hands of ‘insiders’ and ‘elites’.”

Ms. Wynne was heard shouting “I can’t even…! It’s just too much! I… I… Oh my God!” before spontaneously combusting in a paroxysm of orgasmic political joy, at the prospect of running against the less well-known brother of a man made famous for saying – about allegations of inappropriate comments concerning oral sex – “I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.”

Mr. Ford was unavailable for comment, as he was busy planning his campaign from his mother’s basement, following in the footsteps of other great basement politicians such as Wayne Campbell.

Ms. Wynne received second-degree burns to 20% of her body and was last heard muttering “Thank you Jesus” as paramedics wheeled her away to St. Michael’s hospital’s primary trauma care unit. Ms. Wynne is expected to make a full recovery in time to dance on the smoking remains of Mr. Ford’s political career in June of this year.